Shop Talk

Editor’s Note v1.0: It’s going to be a pretty busy week. We have a theater company in from London and the production kicks off tomorrow.

Because I’ll probably be too spent to string together coherent thoughts, I thought I’d share a bit of creative writing that I posted on my personal blog over the summer. Sometimes, I like to think I’m funny. Well, I at least made a few people laugh for sure.

Dear Starbucks,

I don’t know how to say this, but I have a confession to make … I cheated.

I didn’t know what I was thinking that Saturday morning when I walked past you, crossed the street and took a risk, opening myself up to a new experience, diving into world that was so new, so strange to me. His name was Caribou.

Long had I heard his whispers. His flashy neon beckoning me to him. The looks of those who came from him satisfied. Men and women alike. All in blissful gaits as they walked the streets. He had this uncanny ability to quench their aching desires. It was written across their faces. Temptation gnawed at me day after day. Yet, I resisted. For I knew how long we’ve carried on and I couldn’t fathom breaking our bond.

Finally, it became too much to bear. I had to know what he was like. I strolled in that morning, not knowing what to expect. Would I too join these men and women or be left with emptiness and disappointment? One of his associates asked me what I desired of him. Breathless, I responded. I knew what I wanted. I had craved it for so long. I was going mad without it. Venti nonfat raspberry mocha.

With a knowing smile, the associate whispered to another associate and he set to work. Before my eyes, his gift had appeared. Long had that been our special drink, but alas, you told me I had to satisfy myself in other ways until June 25.

Our time together was brief. I departed from him as quickly as I came and didn’t look back. I took one sip as I strode up the walkway and plunged into oblivion. The taste. My God. I knew that there was no turning back. A smooth swirl into ecstasy where flavors of chocolate and raspberry tangoed on my tongue before taking a dive down my throat, a velvety combination, so warm and soothing. I found myself in that blissful state like so many before me had been. He had given me what I craved.

I know not when we shall meet again, but I know that I will not be able to resist the next time I find myself near him.

It breaks my heart to tell you all of this now, but I couldn’t go on with this secret much longer. I hope that we can be friends even after all of this. I will still come to you in my time of need because you, yes only you can provide me with the sweet taste that I crave on a warm, sunny day. 

We’ll always have the venti sweetened Passion Iced Tea.

I promise.

Love always,

Jenn

Editor’s note v1.1: Starbucks is still my morning staple, but I’ve switched to nonfat vanilla lattes. Sometimes, I’ll go for a skinny vanilla latte - if I’m feeling adventurous. So, in essence, my affair with Caribou Coffee has been short-lived. I feel so cheap.

One thing I (and many others) remember fondly from childhood is candy. There’s something endearing about sugary sweets. Maybe it’s the associated memories of getting money from the “tooth fairy” and knowing what you wanted to spend it on right away. Alternatively, there were those hot summer days when M&Ms didn’t really melt in your mouth before first melting in your hand. Better yet, how about the stories your parents told you about candy when it used to cost five cents? (OK, I guess that only really applies if you’re young like me).  

There’s a sense of innocence and youth involved, so why is candy getting such a bad rap these days? OK, aside from you know, being bad for your teeth and detrimental to your healthy and weight. It’s not so much the fact that candy is sugar, (we know that) – it’s the fact that candy is taking on visible characteristics of drugs. 

According to various news reports, the Hershey Company has been forced to shelve a mint that looks alarmingly similar to a street drug packaged in the same manner. The confectionary conglomerate said the design was never meant to resemble anything, but it still has law enforcement officials up in arms because children in possession of the mint could be mistaken to have drugs, or think that a bag of drugs found on the street is actually candy.  

Rather than issue a total recall for the remaining product, Hershey has announced that it will not manufacture anymore after the current circulation runs out. This understandbly does not totally satisfy opponents of the candy whose own children died from drug overdoses. 

So, should Hershey have issued a recall? Probably. However, what this really boils down to is that Hershey is a business and like any business, the point is to make money. I imagine the company could fare well with a recall as other companies have in the past (i.e. McNeil with the tampered Tylenol scare), but for whatever reason, this was the better solution to them. I would hope that Research and Development is a little more cautious the next go-round. Although this product had fared well with test markets, sometimes people don’t think twice about any sort of ramifications, especially if this product was offered for sampling at no cost. 

I’m going to play devil’s advocate for a minute as well. Many candies look like drugs. If it’s really the intention to remove these from children, then the fight has to go well beyond Hershey. It isn’t the first company to be guilty of this, nor the last. We can argue that quite a few popular candies could be mistaken for drugs. I remember from my youth the candy cigarettes and bubblegum cigars. However, fact of the matter is that maybe going up against Hershey is only the beginning.